(Deeksha) - Section A – Article #10
Trip To India -
the phone, someone just asked me "What are you looking for?" Before
this trip to India, I used to respond to that question by saying something
like "Enlightenment and Love, that is, if they are separate…and
if they're not, I'll take them anyway."
Now, after India, I found myself saying "I'm not looking for anything.
I have found what I was looking for. I just want to go deeper into what
I have found, and enjoy. I simply want to savor it and get the most out
of every moment and experience".
That doesn't mean that I've "become enlightened", but a process
of immense delicacy and beauty has been initiated. Through the process
of my life and the expression of its karma, leading me to the holy place,
Golden City, just a few hours outside Chennai (Madras), to encounter
one known as Sri Kalki, or simply called Bhagavan, I felt like all my
life had conduced to this magical situation, wherein I could be touched
(Deeksha) on the head, and have an experience of Self unleashed in such
a way that it was a combination of the highest, most "tuned in" states
ever experienced in my life, rolled into one. It was an experience of
Oneness that was extraordinary, and wholly natural and ordinary at the
I went to India on a hunch that this being called Bhagavan, had the power
to awaken one to his full consciousness and to establish it there permanently.
I read the website, spoke to a few friends who knew of him, spoke to
a woman who's been there several times, and decided that if this were
true, I simply could not, not go. I made arrangements to do interviews
there, packed my camera and India cloth clothing, and left. I figured
that if it wasn't what I hoped for, the worst is that I'd be with Rena,
we'd have a chance to spend some time, and I'd go to other ashrams, centers,
visit friends in Bangalore, and see parts of India I've not yet seen.
It could only be a winning situation. I never left Golden City. From
the day I arrived, I stayed, rooted, embedded in the life there, its
vibration, the people who have felt the pull, or the call. There was
nowhere else for me to go. I couldn't justify even going to Tiruvanamalai
to see Rena's. The only thing that mattered to me was the fullest possible
awakening of my whole consciousness, to the level possible for a human
being, so that I may "be" where I believe our destiny points
us all, I would like to assist others in being there too.
This became the first important step in correcting and re-balancing the
many ills and diseases rampant in this world. This is the "real
medicine" -- consciousness itself.
My meetings with Kalki (Bhagavan) gave me a chance to get to know this
being, I had a chance to interview him for A Better World, and to meet
with him again to discuss personal enlightenment, so to speak, but also
that of the world's. He also wanted to discuss the ‘world situation'
with me and come up with the solutions to the most agonizing of problems.
It was deeply gratifying and soul-nourishing to have time with this amazing
A brief description of the experiences I had, upon the diksha, i.e.,
the crowning point of the 5-Day Enlightenment Process, would be to say
that everything that would have been considered happening "outside" me
was now happening "inside" me. I was in an utterly awake state.
It was simply like "The lights were Turned On!!
But really, there ceased to be any separation between in and out at all.
All experience was direct and poignant. There was also no separation
between any idea of God and God itself. And everything else was included,
including "myself" to the extent that there was a "myself".
I most immediately discovered this when, in the midst of ecstasy
in gazing at the sky, I exclaimed "Thank God for all this!" I
felt like I was thanking everything equally, including "myself".
There was no distinction to be made. God was both in and out of me
and not separate from me. I felt like I was in a Woody Allen movie
in the middle of South India amidst a breakthrough of the highest
order after 25 years of psychoanalysis, and on the last day of it,
the shrink slipped a psycho-active substance into my water. It was
actually far, far beyond that.
It was as though, as I said, the "lights got turned on". Until
then, oh I was alive to some extent, and indeed, more alive than many,
but now, the deeper, higher lights got ‘turned on', and I could
see from the place where All was connected. It was like the circuitry
was finally completed and I could see and feel reality clearly. My "self" got
re-proportioned, or as I've been saying to people "re-fitted, re-sized".
It was put into its rightful place….rather tiny in the face of
the cosmos, and our true universal/cosmic identity was emergent. It's
not that ego or mind was bad or some such thing or had no place….no,
it was that they took over running the ship. This diksha and all that
ensued straightened that out! All was, as any good Taoist would want,
in "proper balance". I was in the "truth-state",
in harmony with All. It was the state from which teachings flow forth.
For the first time in my life, I felt that I could get rid of all of
my "spiritual" books. Now I could speak or write them. To have
them would be redundant. I recognized that having them and reading them
was a compensation for what I hadn't been in touch with inside myself.
Life was the book itself.
It was that a part of my brain, dormant by and large until then, got
awakened. As Kalki says, this is a neuro-biological process. I wholly
agree. All of our brains and nervous systems are hardly used and are
largely dormant. We only use 5% of our brains, right? No more! I got,
through the masterful touch of Bhagavan, access to the rest of what was
given to me. He helped me gain access to "myself". But this
self isn't "me" in any commonly thought of way. This self was
the same self of all beings, cosmically proportioned, if it could be
called a self at all. "I am that" made inherent, organic sense.
My ordinary sense of self was not to be found anywhere. And at the same
time, the words of Kalki echoed: "6 billion souls, 6 billion different
enlightenments". There remains a distinct personal blueprint, like
an individual flower of a species that is now expressing this reality
in his particular way. Mine felt, at least at times, like what would
happen if you would cross the humor genes of Jackie Mason with Woody
Allen's. All I can say is that I hoped the South Americans, Swedes and
Indians I was with appreciated New York Jewish humor....
The sacred plants our precious earth offers up to us that are psycho-active,
in confluence with years of T'ai-Chi practice, Chi-Kung, the Gurdjieff
Work and Buddhist and Taoist meditation practices, opened the doors to
my consciousness so that the "terrain" I entered was already
quite known to me. The sacred drink of the Santo Daime in particular,
seemed to prepare the way well. Kalki said that these places, these dimensions,
already traversed where the neuro-pathways have already been cut, would
be the first places the diksha would guide one through. So in the middle
of south India , I felt that I may have been in the jungles of the Amazon.
But it was better than that. The light kept shining. The clarity shown
through. There was no toxin or substance in my system. This was this
I was what I was always looking for.
In this holy place, for which we had spent a good 10 days and many lifetimes
preparing, this humble, still, intent being, Bhagavan, through his dasaji's
(servers), touched us indirectly, and awakened our consciousness to its
appropriate Divine place, loca, dimension. The dream of lifetimes was
coming to fruition. I went to India on an intuition and a hunch. I hadn't
been there in 7 years. My visit to Satya Sai Baba, interesting and worthwhile
as it was, didn't "do it" for me. There was no connection to
speak of, and certainly no offer of enlightenment. But Kalki's website,
and conversations with a few friends, helped me feel the potential. Here,
the power was being given away. Bhagavan says "Be your own teacher.
Take the diksha, let your own enlightenment guide you. Then, if you want,
go back to your own religion or practice or teacher, enlightened!" A
These are the words of a master. He wants nothing but for our collective
playground, this beautiful earth, and all of our playmates, our brothers
and sisters, to be in our fullness as Divinized, truth-ensconced, joyful
Beings to our core. You know, that when you really look at the biochemistry,
you see that the human organism is designed for the ongoing experience
of joy, pleasure and bliss. What's an endorphin? What are the skin and
the senses? A fragrant, yellow-bursting flower? There's no escaping it—we're
set up for bliss. But, look at us. We've missed, we've totally missed
the mark. We live instead in suffering. These are not new ideas to me,
nor possibly to you. But now, I'm living the truth of it, it is feeling-
and experience-based and connected. They're not just words. They are
So all the teachings I've ever listened to are now living in me. They're
not static, they're not intellectual, they're not even just a mild stoke.
They have a real, living, or as Mr. G. used to say, "vivifying" home
inside me. I spent nearly a month in India, and despite plans to travel
and see friends in Bangalore and Putthaparthi, Amma Narayani's ashram,Tiruvanamalai,
Auroville and Pondicherry, I never left Golden City—there was no
reason to. I traveled lifetimes for this—I had no idea that it
would really be forthcoming, but indeed, after several dikshas I want
you to know, one of them hit us all—all 200 of us—and we
began to truly create, or rather live within, a better world. In assembling
a book of my poetry that I am compiling—to be ready soon before
Creating A Better World Quickly! is completed, I've been leafing through
old writing and came across a journal entry I made years ago. It pleaded
with the heavens for enlightenment and the ability to wholly serve, with
all my being, this precious planet, people and universe. Similar pleas
to the Universe are scattered throughout my writings since I had some
sense of this around age 15. So interesting to have come across that.
And there were many others like it, entered over the course of decades.
Then, in one gentle "hit to the head", I was awakened to the
reality I've known during brief periods, and I awoke to that reality
the next day as well. It's when you know. I was awakened to the reality
I've known during brief periods, and I awoke, after a brief sleep, into
that reality the next day as well. It's when you know, you know. The
universe, in toto, makes sense. You get it from the inside. The world
is a play. Shakespeare, among others, (like Bacon?), was right. I could
see how this state, free from suffering, free from duality, simply "plugs" a
person into the larger cosmic picture and all assumes its rightful place.
There would not be a world of war, of environmental destruction, of 10%
owning and controlling 90% of the world's resources—it simply wouldn't
happen, as it is against the natural principle at play. So do I see this
process as a means of truly taking this planet to its next level??? Enlightened
Government! Enlightened Society! Farming! Water Distribution!!! Music!
Dance! Fun! Not kidding! It's so simple it boggles those committed to
the complicated. Unwinding the damage will take a little time and doing,
but it is do-able. The vibration of us all enlightened itself will be
a major force in the un-doing of the imbalance.
How wonderful. I see hope, I see hope, I see hope. The power-mongering
of the Bush's and their best buddies, the Saudis, the Bin Ladens, the
Cheney's, all of them, are utterly ensconced in fear. They're hungry
ghosts, without a clue of what really this game is about. This was so
transparent to me. All the greed of the multi-national corporations,
all the green-washing, all the politicking and jockeying for power of
our society, all the suppression, depression and repression, it all is
a symptom, a terrible and destructive symptom, of a life uninformed,
untouched by the power of one's own highest Self. This power clears it
all up, quickly. As brothers and sisters, we are literally One, and to
hurt another is to hurt oneself. This is no longer an idea when one awakens,
it is real. The games of power and control cannot be perpetuated. They
lose their power, and there's no lure in this realm. There's enjoyment
of this realm, the material realm is joyous! But it is not a realm any
longer of "power over" but "power with". From the
view of Golden City , and "my" view being there, this is the
way it is. Anything that is not love, as the Course in Miracles says, "is
unreal". And everything is real...The awakened mind, as all the
Buddhas of all time have said, and all other awakened beings of our planet,
is our organic, natural way, that has gotten obstructed by the course
of events, but is to be returned to by every human being, either now,
or later. I, will take now.
I've been back in the States for almost two weeks. We had a last meeting
with Bhagavan the night we left, and his blessings, and an invitation
back anytime, indeed, for a process, that would empower "me",
so to speak, to give diksha, and God knows, possibly even through the
UEB Energy Balancing Program and The LIFE System. And, Kalki said, people
should be able to become enlightened through the TV show. He's right!
It was designed to inform, uplift, inspire and enlighten! So it will
be. He said that he's going to "finish me off, with a permanently
established enlightenment". Well, honestly, with what I've experienced
already, what is bubbling inside me when I'm quiet, at ease, simple,
is an energy of a subtle sort that brings forth joy spontaneously, and
insight. An inner knowing and seeing occurs throughout the day. It disappears
when I get too busy, mental or preoccupied. But then it comes back later
on, or the next day. It is like this "intelligence" is working
in me. In certain conversations that are related to dharma, it begins
to assert itself again, a certain inner vibration quivers and quickens.
And then, if you could say, there is now. Well, there always was and
is only now.
There is some sense of presence I keep enjoying, whatever it is that
enjoys, that is. It feels much as Eckart Tolle describes—a felt
presence. It is simple, it is aware, it is connected, it feels globally
good. It has a depth, a shape of love, a feeling of, if you're ready
for this, "giggly gratitude". It's just so good, so deep, you
just want to giggle and cry and laugh. Who do I thank for this state?
For this life? Thank you Mom and Dad! Thank you Grandparents! Thank you
All-the-Way-Back! Thank you Adam & Eve! Thank you GOD! but, what,
really, is God, if it is not you and I??? If God is everything, so too,
is it you and me. In this state of awareness, this isn't even to be discussed.
It is like saying breakfast is the first meal of the day. Everyone knows
it. Water is wet.
The world as we've constructed it, with all its rights and wrongs, institutions
with regulations, God in religions with rules, and social restrictions,
military might, all look mighty strange from this view. Where'd we get
so many odd ideas? And why did we institutionalize them all? Soon we'll
all be free, and all of this will look real odd, and not just to the
few of us. Each day, there is a sense of this presence, ebbing and flowing,
sometimes nearly disappeared, and at others, ebullient.
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I give precise, clear and understandable
instructions on exactly how to forgive yourself, love and navigate
inside of any thought, feeling or experience.
More Quotes To Come.
Everything that you choose to recognize as yourself
becomes a gift that is a doorway to liberation. This does not mean that
you need to work on yourself for the next 10 years when things are finally
clear enough in your life and consciousness . . . then you decide to
choose oneness and seeing everything as yourself. NO. Choose this now.
It is available to you as long as your belief systems take a vacation.
There is no future. There is only right now and allowing yourself to
be one with what you are experiencing and feeling is at first mechanical
and then after faith sets in, it is easy. It is actualization and not
realization that works. Oneness is not an experience as much as a knowing
that this is all my body. Getting caught inside of looking for the oneness
experience is the trap of the mind to not opening to oneness.
Trying to choose anything from the mind and from
your comparison mode is a form of suffering. Choice only exists the moment
it needs to be made. All analysis causes one to touch their own pain
body and contract into illusion.
Affirmations work. Is that true? Trying to change
things by forcing them to be something they are not is called manipulations.
Has it ever worked? . . . or has it just moved around the suffering
to another part of your life. Exchanging one suffering for another.Love
is the answer to everything.Let darkness consume you. If you defend
yourself against it, you immediately become a victim. Victim consciousness
is a state of duality. Stop defending yourself against anything. All
protection . . . All psychic protection . . . All protection is declaring
that you are a victim. It is a lie.
More Quotes To Come.